Philandering Part 2: Van Halen Guy

I guess I should follow up that last post with some more stories about my encounters with the weird old men of the library.  I actually lied, there was another time a guy not too much older than me was flirting with me and it was pretty awesome, until he told me he was moving to the other side of the world in a week.  Just my luck.  So, where was I?  Maybe now is a good time to tell the story of Van Halen Guy.

Van Halen Guy got his name because he loves the Bee Gees.  That was a joke.  He actually really loves Abba.  That was another joke.  I could do this all night.  He got his name because one night, when he was watching videos on YouTube, he loudly pronounced "Man, Hendrix only wished he could play like that. Heh. Eddie Van Halen could shit all over him!"  I do know his real name, but you shall only know him as Van Halen Guy.

He soon decided that we should be friends, even though he is in his early fifties, and every time he saw me would tell me every kind of guitar he owns, and his amplifiers, and how he plays every day because he loves it so much.  I don't really know a lot about guitars and gear and all that, but I always acted impressed anyway.  Once he overheard me say that I was in a band though, and that really got things going.  Then he wanted to be BFFs.  He wanted to hear the CD.  He wanted to give me advice.  And he still wanted to tell me about all of his guitars.

VHG likes to google his name plus "best guitar player in the world" and show me all the hits.  When his five year old son told me he wanted to marry me, VHG said "What did you do to my boy?!?"  (The answer, of course, is nothing, because this was the first time I even met the kid). 

VHG asked if he could take me out to dinner once.  The next time he saw me, he had flowers for me.  The next time after that, he said he only meant it as a friendly gesture and that he just wants to get to know me better.  Then last week, he told me that he was just waiting for me to break up with my boyfriend so he can "move right in" on me.  Followed up with "You think I'm joking!  I'm not!"  Another shelver was there, right on the other side of the shelf, and he overheard the whole thing.  As VHG left, he said to that guy "She's a great girl, isn't she?" 

Honestly, he is such a character, and while all of this might seem a little on the creepy side, he is one of my favorite people to ever come in the library.  Sure, he got pulled aside by the cops once, when the library director found out he threatened another patron who was annoying him.  But he also tells me how funny I am and that he's glad he knows me.  He is one of the few people who comes in who enjoys talking to me and always says goodbye to me loudly, so everyone else can hear.  It's sort of sweet, in a weird kind of way.