Philandering Part 1

I get hit on while I'm working.  A LOT.  I'm not entirely sure why.  Probably because I'm young, especially compared with my co-workers.  I even got a marriage proposal once, but that's a whole different story.  I also think it probably has to do with the fact that I've been working there for years, and I've become a familiar face to many of the patrons.  When I first started working there I was young and angry and didn't want to talk to anyone, especially not creepy men.  Now, I've grown tolerant of them, and even enjoy my conversations with them.  Sometimes.
I think the first time I got asked out was by a guy who was close to my age, and I thought he was cute so I agreed.  He asked me for the Led Zeppelin book Hammer of the Gods so I immediately thought he was awesome, and then he sort of followed me around for a while before asking me for my number and saying we should hang out sometime.  It didn't work out with dating, but we're really good friends to this day and still hang out pretty often.  Not bad for a first time, right?
The second time, not so much.  Again, the guy was close to my age but he annoyed me right off the bat.  He came in and was arguing with the librarian behind the counter about a fifty cent fine.  Loudly.  For a long time.  It's fifty cents!  Just pay it!  Stop this nonsense and PAY THE FINE YOU OWE BECAUSE YOU RETURNED YOUR BOOKS LATE.  Ahem.  So, I walked back to put things away in non-fiction and after he was done arguing like an idiot, he followed me back there and pretended to be looking for books on philosophy, right where I was shelving, of course.  I could tell he had no interest in philosophy except for the fact that I was in that section.  He started talking to me and I was polite, like a good employee, and he asked me out and I had to say no, not only because he was being such a creep about his fine, but there was definitely something off about him, like in a serial killer kind of way.  This guy didn't get the hint though.  I got a phone call a few days later from the library on one of my days off saying that someone had brought me flowers and they would be in the staff room until I was able to come get them.  I was mystified.  I thought it had to be one of my friends trying to embarrass me or something.  Imagine my surprise when I saw that guy's name on the tag.  Along with his phone number.  Ewww.  Needless to say, I never called him, and luckily he hasn't come in since then.
Now, there was a guy who was volunteering at the library.  That's nice, isn't it?  Volunteers are pretty awesome.  I thought he was nice, until I started to get those weird vibes from him.  He has to be in his late forties, early fifties.  One time, he asked me if I had taken my lunch break yet, because he was wondering if I wanted to share a pizza with him.  I thought maybe he was just being nice, but it still seemed a little weird.  He had been volunteering for a few weeks, and my co-workers that I had been working with for years had never even asked me to share a pizza with them.  Probably because they know I don't eat cheese, but that's beside the point.  Then, the day came where he wandered over where I was putting away large print books.  This is the conversation, along with a translation of what I imagine we were both actually saying:
"So, you know, I was wondering if maybe we could go out together sometime." (I know this is totally creepy to be asking out a girl who is half my age, but what the hell??)
"What, you mean like a date?" (I know that's what you mean, but I really hope I'm wrong.)
"Well, you know, I mean, it wouldn't have to be like that, but, well, you know..." (YES I WANT TO TAKE YOU ON A DATE PLEEEEEASE)
"Oh, well, I uh, I have a boyfriend, so you know, I don't think that would really be a good idea, you know." (Even if I didn't have a boyfriend, I would have lied and said I did so you leave me alone you strange person)
"Yeah, I kinda figured you did, but I wanted to ask anyway.  Here's my phone number, in case you change your mind and, you know, you just want to talk sometime or something." (I am totally relentless and desperate, please call me sometime, pleeeeease)
I felt bad so I called him later and decided he's actually not so bad, and now we're happily married.
HAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING.  I never called him, but he comes in from time to time and asks if I still have a boyfriend.  Yes, he really is that relentless.