I have refrained from using anyone's real name in here and I plan to keep on doing so, but not this time. This is a big deal to me and I can't imagine not using his name in here. In my last post, I mentioned a guy flirting with me before moving to the other side of the world. That guy was Kris. I know I made it sound like it happened that one time and then he was gone, but it was much more involved than that. I wasn't going to elaborate on it at all except that I just found out that he has passed away, and it makes me want to share our story even though it's extremely brief. This happened at the end of June, just this past year. I had seen him in the library on and off for a long time but never really talked to him until more recently.
We talked in the library twice, the first time when he introduced himself and we talked about music and he told me that he's from Australia (yeah...on top of everything else...an Australian accent. Swoon). He was adorable. No two ways about it. Everything about him. The next time I saw him, he wanted me to help him print out forms so that he could mail things to himself in Australia. He told me he was moving back there that weekend. I was kind of shocked, but I figured that's just my luck. He wrote down his name for me and told me to find him on facebook. So I did. Imagine my surprise when, over a week later, he accepted my friend request and wrote on my wall telling me that he was leaving for Australia TOMORROW. I found out later that he missed the original flight. This was my second chance! I was at my other job and I went on facebook when I should have been working, but this was perfect. He left me his phone number so I sent him a text to come hang out with me at work. He said he would love to but had no way of getting there. So you know what happened? My boss let me leave and go get him and then bring him back while another girl covered for me. It made me so happy. I brought him back, he hung around while I finished my shift, and then I took him home with me. I was housesitting for some friends, so we went to their house and I decided we were not sleeping. We were going to make the most of this time together and stay awake the whole night. We almost did, falling asleep at 5:30am and then waking up at 7. That night will always stay with me. I hate to sound so cheesy and cliched, but we really connected. We liked a lot of the same music, and laughed at all the same things, and I could listen to him talk for hours with that accent. It was so amazing. In the morning, I took him back to his place so he could start packing and get ready, and I went back home but then went to his place after a little bit. He was sending me threatening texts, too, saying "you better hurry up, you have one minute!" So I pretty much sat there and watched him run around shoving things in a suitcase. But I still wouldn't trade that time for anything. We listened to music together; he turned the volume all the way up on one song to annoy the upstairs neighbors because he said they were always waking him up too early in the morning, running around and stuff. I always think of him when I hear that song, and I know I always will.
The time came too quickly that his ride showed up to take him to the airport. I'll never forget him walking me to my car and giving me a kiss and then running and jumping into the van, smashing his face against the window at me and blowing kisses and they drove off. He called me from the airport. Twice. He called me when he was back in Australia. We could talk for hours. We facebook messaged. Facebook chatted. We texted. But we both got busier, he was going back to school and doing volunteer work, and we had less time to talk and text. But every time we talked he told me he loved me and always said "miss you heaps" and we would never be able to hang up. It would take forever to say goodbye, and he would make me hang up first. We weren't technically a couple, but we both obviously liked each other, and had the circumstances been different, we probably would have ended up dating. He was probably coming back in December and we would have a week or two together. Well, I started dating someone else. I told him, and he was sad, but he was ok with it. His main concern? If I was happy. I cried during that conversation, because I realized just how sweet he was. He told me he was seeing someone else too, but that he was already over it and didn't see it going anywhere. That made me feel a little better, that it wasn't just me. We still talked, but less frequently. He didn't come in December. Partly because of me, I think, but there were probably other reasons too. I guess I'll never know.
We talked once more, on December 22nd. He texted me to ask if he could call because he missed talking to me, so I said yes, and he called. We talked for about an hour. He was so tired and sounded like he was getting sick but he still wanted to talk. He asked me everything that had been going on since we last talked, and it was a good conversation. I'm kicking myself now because he called two more times after that, and I missed the calls but never called him back. I texted him twice, once the day before he died, and one after he had already passed. I didn't find out until a week after it had happened. I can't tell you how much it hurts. He was such a special person, and he made me feel special too. He never missed an opportunity to make me feel great about myself. He also never got tired of making fun of how he said hello to me outside the library that day we first talked, and I ignored him. I don't know how many times I explained to him that I didn't realize he was talking to me, but he still gave me a hard time for it. We always laughed about that. Even though I never told him how I felt about him, I hope that he knew. I guess none of this is really too relevant to my blog, except that here is someone I met at the library and he deeply affected me and now he's gone.
This is for you Kris.
I miss you.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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