Annoying Smelly Computer Guys

Occasionally, you get the really awful people who come into the library, and even though it's a public place and everything is free, you wish you could institute some kind of rule to keep people like them out.  Take, for instance, the annoying smelly computer guys.  They are a father / son team.  They come in solely to use the computers, which is fine for people who don't have the internet at home, or people who need to print things out who don't have printers at home...I get it.  Computers are an important resource, and libraries should provide them for free. 

But these guys are just a completely different story.  My main problem?  They come in to use the FREE internet and then COMPLAIN LOUDLY how their computers at home are SOOOO MUCH FASTER THAN THIS.

Seriously guys?  I mean, seriously?  It's FREE.  Go home and use your own stupid internet instead of coming in here and annoying everyone in the building with your nonsense.

So you understand the "annoying" and "computer guys" parts of their name, but there is also the "smelly" bit.  Yeah.  Not only are they totally obnoxious but they smell bad, too.  These are the kind of people there need to be rules about.

NO USING THE FREE COMPUTERS IF YOU ALREADY HAVE ONES AT HOME THAT YOU ARE GOING TO LOUDLY PRONOUNCE TO EVERYONE ARE MUCH BETTER THAN THESE. THAT ARE, ONCE AGAIN, FREE.
ALSO, TAKE A SHOWER.

Yeah, so I have some pet peeves, but can you blame me?  Oh yeah, and on top of all that, the kid once got caught looking at porn on one of our computers.  Guess who saw him?  No, not me.  It was a little five or six year old boy.  Now, as for me, I really have no problem with porn in general, but looking at it on a public computer where you don't know who else is looking is just wrong.  Plus, what are you gonna do?  Jerk off under the table?  Yeah, like no one is gonna notice that.  Go home and use your really fast internet for that stuff, annoying smelly computer guy.